Reflections on Teaching, pt.2

Today is my first official day of Winter Break, yet I am far from relaxed.  Even more daunting than the stack of assignments and final projects I need to grade is the idea of making a plan to help my students to be productive and successful upon returning in January.  Somehow, we managed to make it through that final week, which is usually pretty stressful for students and teachers alike.  And in an accelerated credit recovery program such as ours, even one day of wasted time could mean a serious set back for students’ trajectory of graduating and moving on with their lives.  Yet despite this fact, there are still those who have not seemed to fully grasp this concept, making little to no effort to attend classes and complete final projects. What is to be done for these students?  It is always around finals time that I begin to question what the role of the teacher is.  Where do we draw the line between teacher support and teacher dependency? How do we hold students accountable for their responsibilities, while at the same time accommodating the often oppressive circumstances that they face? At what point does the culpability of failure transfer from the teacher to the student? Some say never. . . And that may be the problem.

I am a strong believer in the idea that blaming the victim is only a way of excusing oneself from acknowledging and addressing the oppressive systems which underlie all social inequalities.  I also believe that schools should exist for the purpose of combating these systems by equipping students with the knowledge, skills, and resources necessary for survival.  I suppose it is when schools do not provide these things (which, unfortunately, is more often than not) that failure results. However, one could make the argument that a number of individuals have thrived, despite the oppressive conditions that they faced, due to their personal motivation and work ethic. According to this line of reasoning: people decide to be successful, regardless of the hand they have been dealt. Pull yourself up by your boot straps. Stop waiting for a hand out. Determine your own destiny…

As much as I would love to believe that I made it to and through college and all the way to graduate school all by the merits of my hard work and tenacity, I know that this simply is not true.  I must acknowledge the fact that I was afforded a number of privileges, which led to these opportunities becoming available to me. However, it was my hard work and tenacity that allowed me to take full advantage of these opportunities as they arose. And this is my point: “At-risk” students in high-poverty, high violence, and under resourced areas are at a disadvantage as is, and teachers do them a disservice by not challenging them to develop the personal skills and work ethic that will be necessary for success, regardless of the presence or absence of privilege.

What students need to understand is that they exist in a society in which their people have historically been subordinated, making it even more critical for them to adopt the self-advocacy, self-accountability, and self-discipline that will be required of them when those opportunities do come their way. So this will be one of my goals as a teacher.  As much as I care about my students’ personal and social well-being, I will not allow them to be enveloped in a world of excuses in which they continue to absolve all personal responsibility for actions and inactions that they have the power to control.  Simply put, it is unacceptable for a 20 year old to be consistently unable to keep up with their own belongings (pens, paper, assignments), to be unable to remember to set an alarm to get to school on time, or to be unable to control their behavior long enough to allow for the learning of themselves and others.  Of course there are some circumstances that cause these seemingly simple tasks to be a challenge (financial issues, family obligations, and behavioral/mental disabilities, accordingly) but I am referring to those for whom these special circumstances do not apply. I will continue to be as understanding and accommodating as possible, but I can only do so much bending before I break… Then no one wins.  

Reflections on Teaching, pt.1

This whole teacher thing isn’t going how I planned…

 I think I’ve done a pretty good job of building rapport with most of my students, but I don’t feel like they are actually learning anything specific to English content. Teaching grammar and writing and reading to someone just eludes me.  There are some rules of the English language that you just know. It just sounds right.  But the challenge is taking this implicit knowledge of how to “properly” speak and write and presenting it in an explicit and tangible way that makes sense. Then comes the fact that I don’t actually care that much about whether a student can write using impeccable grammar.  Its not that I don’t want them to be able to function in the professional world.  Its actually the opposite.  Their opportunity to survive and thrive in this world, in my opinion, will depend on their ability to think critically, to question the status quo, and to make decisions that will empower and liberate them— not on their ability to avoid double negatives and conjugate irregular verbs. And this is not to downplay the importance of literacy, because I am well aware that one’s ability to codeswitch is a valuable tool of survival.  However, there are people who can read and write perfectly, but have oppressed minds which greatly limit their ability to achieve self-actualization.

Currently, my 9^th grade class is doing a unit called: Standard English, Ebonics, and Spanglish: The Effects of linguistic Supremacy.

Sounds great right? I had no idea the amount of resistance I would receive from the students by asking them to complete their assignments using Ebonics or Spanglish. “Incorrect,” “ghetto,” and flat out “stupid” were some adjectives used by my students to describe the languages that all of them admitted to using amongst friends and family members.  This deeply saddened me because it was proof that the American educational system had served its purpose: subordinating the language practices and essentially the identities of individuals that do not fit neatly into the dominant group.  My students, like millions of others, have come to value mainstream white culture as “good” and “proper,” while believing their own  to be “bad” and “ghetto.” And understandably so. Nine plus years of schooling, as well as preparation to become impressive candidates in job interviews have sent them the message that Standard English is the language of power. In their final project, my students will be creating and Urban Dictionary of their own language practices in which they must be able to identify parts of speech and give detailed definitions on Ebonics/Slang/Spanish/Spanglish terms and phrases using Standard English.  Hopefully by the end of this unit, they will have come to embrace their culture/language alongside the culture/language of the mainstream. Keep your fingers crossed!

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Uniforms were a visual representation of our oppression

A blatant denial of our desperate desire, love, inherent need for self expression

A Catholic school for  Christian girl

A sinner in a saint's world

Less than holy

Tainted soul

Their church the only way to make me whole

White chalk to the black boards 

Writing lies and truths

Facts and opinions separating I from you

Images of the crucifix everywhere I go

That pure white face staring straight into my soul

The aroma of incense still linger to remind of that thick smoke coating my throat

Till my own voice I could no longer find

Only coughing up commandments and prayers engrained in my mind

Our Father who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Padre nuestro que esta en el cielo

Santificado sea tu nombre

Brown and Black bodies united by God

Divided by race

Sharing the same school and neighborhoods

Yet two worlds away

Too blind to see that we were one in the same

One common cause

Denying our sisters and brothers

Refused to see the world through the eyes of another

I was unapologetically Pro-Life and Anti-Affirmative action

My worldview limited to my immediate interactions

Discipline and prayer

The key to self-stisfaction

Community a burden 

Independence a must

Stay focused, eyes on the prize

Always me, mine, and I

Never we, ours, and us

I had my eyes wide shut

All the while learning lies

Creating truths in my mind

Yet begging to be blind

See, bliss is ignorance

In this world of hypocrites

Where the world it benefits

From your lack of vigilance

A nation built on the backs of others

A close examination of the facts uncovers

We live in a time where nice guys finish first

Only if they prepare for the best and expect the worst

Pessimism, negativity, or cynicism

Call it what you like

But out of sight, out of mind only complicates the fight

Going toe to toe with the invisible adversary

Like boxing with the wind

Each swing, body and mind becoming weary

Four years, my brain had no stimulation

P.E. to meet state regulations 

But no exercise for my mind

And slowly it died

A steady but painless death

I was making straight A's

So focused in my grades

Not knowing my brain was taking its last

Breaths